In Grief I Give Thee Thanks!!

…..The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord- Job 1:21.

 Today I’m in grief as I mourn the sudden passing of my son. My deepest fear was- I would bury one of children. But God, who is infinite in wisdom, knows why He allows things like this to happen.

 God has been holding me with ‘His strong Right Arm’, that I have not yet asked –

‘why Lord’ and I am still praying and hoping that I will not ask ‘why Lord’.

 My son was murdered on the 13 August 2014, approximately one and a half hour since he left me at home.  My last words to him as I heard the key turning in the door, was…”you’re going out”!! His last words to me were, “I’m going to play football” (this has been the norm for my son). Football was an integral part of his life- for years he has been going to the same Football Pitch.

As I take this journey, I have come to one conclusion that God is my source of

survival. He is my strength and my Strong Tower, He is my Provider, most of all- He is my Comforter.

There are moments in my life when the pain gets so unbearable, my tears sometimes become so uncontrollable… But -‘Tears are a language God understands.’

God has been seeing my family and me through this- He provides people like a family unit who I did not know before.  A relationship was formed from the very night of his passing with those who he had close connection like a family. People came to me saying- I’m auntie this or auntie that, Cousin so and so.

This experience is teaching me that through God, who comforts me and grant me His peace will send help from whoever He chooses- not where, or whom I look to and that I should look to Him- God alone. Thank God for my personal and immediate church family and others around me.

 I am learning as I go along… if you are going through any ordeal as this, you will find people who are their own judge and jury in the matter, people sometimes make their own judgement without getting the facts. Conversations with some people will become twisted, a perfect example of Chinese whispers – it’s a killer.

I don’t think those people understand the level of damage they actually cause another human being when they do things like that.

In some case it is innocently done, but because of lack of understanding and wisdom… For example, you may ask a good question- check yourself to see why you want to ask the question – is it a genuine concern or because you like good juicy gossip? The deceased may have had a pass and people tend to- like the old, saying….  ‘Put two and two together’; but often times when motives are wrong, the answer is not 2+2=4, but 2+2=22. This is very wrong… Remember each and every one has got their 11 hours and 59 minutes as one preacher reminds us. .. It’s what we do within that time.

I spent my 11 hours and 59 minutes almost a month and half before my son’s death in the book of Job and wrote an article – ‘Watch out for The Bandit- He is at Large’. Go to:

Friday night, 8 August 2014, had been a rare one. .. As my husband and I were praying, with two other persons on the phone line, I was led/propelled; I took my son by his hand led him into our living room of worship, he came as a lamb before his shearer. The Lord through his Holy Spirit anointed him and gave him a word. .. Maybe – for his midnight hour.

 Remember this … It doesn’t matter how close you are with family members, friends etc. it’s not everything you tell them, so put yourself in the next person’s shoe. The person may have already spoken to some persons in higher authority in your circles about a matter you’re so keen to know about. Often than not, we tend to show that caring attitudes toward the deceased, by asking the most inappropriate questions and making assumptions that subject the family in deeper distress. Think carefully – think long and hard if you would care so much to put a family- through all that grief… On top of what they are going through. Don’t be like a ‘foreign press’ (saying what pleases you).

 I thank God for His way of doing things… Some things- God allow in our lives for His glory to be revealed. Let us be mindful – peradventure we are interfering in a Godly matter…

 O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! Romans 11:3.


Be blessed